He tossed his bag in the back seat of the Blazer and she drove home. On the way he said, "I met a very interesting guy at the bar in the hotel last night." Really," she smiled at him, looked back at the road and then said, "what was so interesting about him?" You might say, in some ways, he was a kindred spirit. He hadn't lost his job, but he and his wife... they live in Boise by the way... started a business out of their home. They've been at it for over a year and it's quite successful." What kind of a business?" She asked with real interest."An Internet business." That's fascinating." Then, she frowned and said, "I thought you told me that most of the Internet businesses hadn't done very well." Theirs seems to be doing very well. His name is Ray. They're about our age and have been married nearly as long as we have. No kids, though." Tell me more." Ray and I went to dinner and we talked about what they were doing. He thought we could do the same. He had to develop relationships. He worked 40 yrs at the same place. He was intelligent, but I don't know, he always wished things were better but never made an effort. Do I wish that he made more money, buy us more things, make some friends, fight the world, and be my hero? May be, I did. Now I respect him for whatever he did. If he was happy being worried, sad, lonely, sick, I am happy for him. He died before I could reach him, never told us he had heartburn on exertion. He feared hospitals, but I wish he made an effort to tell me. I could not give him everything. I might have operated him myself, provided better vascularisation, extended his life, decreased his misery a bit. I ll never know.He loved us the way he could, I guess we did the same too. But, but, but as long as I m alive, I wish we could have been better dad-son. Wish I was stupider. Wish I could enjoy TV along with him, or be there every day making life for him, or I was never born so he could spare the time he spent on me and did what he enjoyed.
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